Recently, I experienced a horrible breakup. I ended not only a romantic relationship but a friendship all in one. While I won't get into incredible detail, the reason for the breakup was something that I never thought I would experience or something that never even crossed my mind. If I could put it into words it was an unfathomable nightmare. However, I know that I had to go through this breakup for a reason other than just letting this relationship go. I had to go through this so I can refocus myself on God and my purpose.
My first mistake was failing to pray about the relationship before I got into it. I jumped in headfirst barely knowing anything about this person. I knew if I prayed about it God would more than likely tell me that this relationship isn't for me. So I prayed about it AFTER I got into it, a very big mistake. Second mistake was thinking that long distance works for everyone. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a planner. I sat down and planned when I would see this person again, but I did it for the wrong reasons. I planned ahead to make sure HE wouldn't lose interest. This was a mistake because once I presented my idea to him, he hesitated. However, in the beginnings of our relationship it seemed as though he wanted to pursue long distance more than me. So our feelings toward each other and our relationship weren't on the same page to begin with. Third mistake I made was comparing my relationship to others. Comparison kills, simple and plain. My life is different from everyone else's. I'm set apart and not meant to follow society's idealized relationship timeline. I've tried it over and over and it's obviously not working. What works for others may not work for me and I have to except that. Other relationships shouldn't set the standard for my relationship, God should.
With all of those mistakes set into play, I had the recipe for a disastrous breakup. I planned to surprise this person with a visit and the same day I was starting to make the plans, was the same day I found out that he was seeing someone else. It's crazy because when I found out I reacted very calmly, peacefully even. Peace that passed ALL understanding (Philippians 4:7). It was almost like my spirit knew something was bound to happen so, God prepared me accordingly. I found out on a Thursday, and he saw someone else the Tuesday prior. The same Tuesday night while it was happening, all the way in Mississippi, I went to bed feeling uneasy. I woke up on Wednesday morning disoriented, as if I didn't sleep the whole night. My anxiety was through the roof, I couldn't focus at work, and it got so bad I almost started crying at my desk. Understand that I had NO idea about the incident until Thursday, but it was like my spirit of discernment sensed something was wrong. Wednesday, I opened up to him about my anxiety and had a whole conversation about it and he tried to ease my mind, telling me I had nothing to worry about. On Thursday when I found out, what crossed my mind is that he knew that I was anxious, and he knew that he had done something wrong yet acted like everything was fine. I confronted him as soon as I found out and as a person who dislikes confrontation, I handled things the best way I know how, with love. I explained to him that our trust was broken but I understood that he was going through personal things; and even though he mistreated me, lied to me, and ruined our friendship I oddly still wanted to be there for him. I wanted to ease his mind like he eased mine so many times before. However, I decided it would be best if I just continued to pray for him and cease communication for a while. He apologized and I moved on.
On Friday, I listened to a sermon by Pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church. I had started his series called Marked, which is about how God marks us for our purpose. The third episode (which I will link here) talks about how we're approved in private. I won't go into too much detail about the sermon but one verse REALLY stood out to me. 1 Samuel 16:1 says, "The Lord said to Samuel, 'How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king'.” Samuel was crying over Saul not being king anymore and God basically said to Samuel, "Get up we have work to do". Pastor Todd said something that has stuck with me since I listened to this sermon and he said, "Stop crying over what God is done with". God was telling me on Thursday, "You can cry about this today but AFTER today, I don't want to hear you cry about it anymore. After today, this is no longer a trial or tribulation this is a testimony". I cried about it, I was hurt, but all in all this was a lesson learned. I'm done crying over people or things that don't contribute to my purpose. It's a waste of my time. I came out of this situation unscathed, heart not hardened, and still filled with love and THAT is something to cry about. I'm encouraging you today to get up, there's work that needs to be done. Stop crying over things that don't serve your purpose, things that aren't helping you grow, and things that are holding you back from receiving what God has for you. Cry about it today, but tomorrow GET UP, you got work to do.
Post a Comment